BLOG DATE a.a. 1.5, boldy going where lots of other dudes failed!

Well I guess this is like a journal of my personal ideas and thoughts ... but totally open to the public BEFORE I die instead of after, so I guess I may be embarrassed sometimes haha! Well, I am in love. A woman who is probably the most perfect woman has somehow been placed ever so gently in my path. She makes me feel like I can do anything and I know that when we're together everything is just perfect. I'm ever pineful of her hahaha. Lately I've been meditating to know if this is really what I want. I've never been more sure about never wanting to be without someone! It's a nice feeling.

I have been in love before though. It was a good experience every time, I learned a lot and grew VERY much. I have found that all those other times I was in love it was somehow different then this time. I am known to say that "just because it's new doesn't make it special" though and I still believe that. That's why for the last year I have seriously been considering this woman. When we talk I pay attention to her, and she paints me a picture of what she is like inside. It's the most beautiful picture I've seen. The trust and love that she gives me I can't but sit in awe of, it's truly amazing. I have a hard time understanding that still I guess. I'm getting a bit off topic but even though it's new it's a much clearer type of emotion. I guess I can't really describe it exactly. It's still love but almost like a different dialect.. that's just more peaceful, more patient, more charitable, more pure.

I guess when I was growing up I felt the importance of a "better half" in my life and watching movies, I discovered a love that I wanted and that I felt existed. I found that all movies, even action movies and comedies, would have these characters that when together would realize all of a sudden that there was something between them and they were "each others". It was a true love that wasn't defined by ONLY their words, but what they overcame to be together. Nothing else really compared to what they "knew". As I got older I started believing that they made stories like that NOT because it ever happens but because of people like me who want to believe in that kind of success story (for example, Princess Bride, Willow, Sleepless in Seattle). So I went through a time thinking that watching movies like that and allowing them to rekindle my hope that I would have a similar story as Serendipity was, to be blunt, stupid. So as I was dating and finding women I grew to have strong feelings for, the absence of that "knowing" feeling was just how things were. With those women I knew beforehand that they weren't my "one" but I dismissed those feelings because it really didn't matter but as I had felt I would always be left alone in the end. Ha ha! But in the end I've found her, and it's pretty interesting to see that it really can happen. I'm not saying that we've reached a happy ending yet though. I'm still not her husband, but that's something I've also learned. Even when something that is perfect is in your lap, peoples right to choose can change the finale. That's what they don't show you in the movies. More on love to come!
Aa